The 5 Surprising Signs You’ve Found Your Perfect Match

Let’s be honest, dating in Kenya is a full-time job! Between dodging weirdos on dating apps and navigating awkward first dates, it’s no wonder some of us feel like finding “The One” is like trying to find a ripe avocado at the market—you either strike gold or end up with a mushy disappointment. But guess what? Sometimes the signs that you’ve found your perfect match aren’t as obvious as we think.

You know what we expect, right? Fireworks, butterflies, and that Nigerian movie soundtrack playing in the background. But often, the real signs are way more subtle. So, if you’re wondering if that person you’ve been texting at odd hours might actually be “The One,” here are five surprising signs to look out for. (And trust me, it’s not about how good they look in their WhatsApp profile picture).

1. You Can Be Weird Together

Okay, picture this: you’re on a date and you suddenly burst into that old Primary School song “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” just for kicks. Instead of running away, they join in, harmonizing perfectly! That’s when you know. If you can be your true, quirky self without judgment—whether that means dancing badly in the middle of the supermarket or binge-watching “Mother-in-Law” together—you’re onto something magical.

In one of my relationships (I won’t mention names—ahem), I realized it was serious when we spent an entire Friday night creating a fictional story about a pet goat we didn’t even own. It was random, ridiculous, and weirdly fun. If someone gets your weirdness and doesn’t make you feel like you need therapy, keep them around!

2. You Argue, But It’s Productive

Here’s the thing: no relationship is perfect. You will argue, especially in Nairobi traffic when one of you insists on taking the Thika Road shortcut that never works. But the key is how you argue. If you can have a disagreement without someone storming off and blocking the other on WhatsApp (come on, we’ve all been there), that’s a good sign.

When you argue, and both parties are genuinely trying to understand each other and solve the issue, you’re building something solid. My friend Wanjiru always says that her and her husband’s most romantic moments often happen after a fight when they sit down, dissect the argument, and end up laughing at how ridiculous they both were. It’s all about finding resolution, not keeping score.

3. They Know Your Chips Mwitu Order By Heart

Love is in the little things, and nothing says “I care” like your partner remembering your very specific chips mwitu order. You know what I mean—the extra salt, vinegar, and kachumbari combination that you would die for! If your person knows your favorite roadside snack or your go-to mutura guy, that’s love right there.

One day, my boyfriend brought me a pack of Smokies and I didn’t even have to ask. He just knew my soul needed that greasy goodness. And he brought the toothpick too, without me reminding him! That’s when I realized he wasn’t just listening to me ramble on about my love for street food—he was paying attention.

4. You’re Comfortable in Silence

Now, this one hits hard. If you can sit together, whether it’s on a matatu ride or chilling at Java, and not feel the need to fill every gap with conversation, it’s a game-changer. Most of us think we have to be talking, laughing, or doing something constantly to connect. But being able to share silence without it feeling awkward is a major sign that you’re truly comfortable with each other.

Picture this: It’s a lazy Sunday afternoon. You’re both on your phones, scrolling through memes, but you don’t feel neglected or bored. You feel content. Sometimes, just being together—quietly—is more intimate than words.

5. They Make You Feel Safe, Not Just Physically, But Emotionally

A lot of people think love is about grand gestures—helicopter rides over Maasai Mara or surprise dinners at high-end hotels in Westlands (though I wouldn’t say no to those!). But real love? Real love is when you feel safe with someone. When you can open up about your dreams, fears, and the embarrassing moment you fell in front of your boss—and they listen without judgment.

A friend of mine, Alex, once told me about his girlfriend who supported him through his hardest times. When he was let go from his job, she didn’t flinch or make him feel less of a man. Instead, she became his biggest cheerleader, reminding him of his worth and standing by him as he started his own business. That kind of emotional safety? That’s priceless.

So, there you have it! If you’ve ticked a few of these boxes, there’s a good chance you’ve found someone special. And look, relationships aren’t all smooth sailing—there will be ups, downs, and probably a few canceled dates because one of you forgot to charge your phone. But if they make you feel loved in the small moments, respect you in the tough times, and laugh with you through the weirdness, they might just be “The One.”

Now, go forth and embrace the magic of everyday love—whether it’s in the form of chips mwitu, shared silences, or ridiculous karaoke duets. Just don’t forget to pay attention to the small signs, because often, they’re the ones that matter most.

And remember: if they can handle you at your ugliest, sweatiest matatu ride home after a long day in town, that’s real love.